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Funny Customer Service Queries

Each customer service query is unique and should be dealt with accordingly.


Dealing with customers can be really tricky. First of all, each customer is a unique individual, with specific personality traits and characteristics. Secondly, they all have different problems that need immediate attention and resolution. Lastly, what is crucial for one of them may actually be trivial for another. Regardless of the situation, company representatives need to be able to deal with any customer service query irrespective of how absurd it may sound. And some of them really seem to be out of this world! Here are some of our picks for the top funniest customer service queries:

If You Can’t Fix it, I’ll Put a Hole in It

The customer support representative was working Vista tech support right around the release, as a level 2 tech. This exchange happened right as the call had escalated.

Support: “How can I help you today?”
Customer: “I’ve got my 22-gauge pointed at my desktop. Do you think that’s going to be a better solution than what you got?”
Support: “Uh…”
(Sadly, he had to replace all the hardware. The gun would have been a faster solution.)

Just Following Orders

The customer support representative was working in internal computer support. One afternoon he got a call from an older gentleman.

Support: “[Company] help desk. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Make the information available. Do it.”
Support: “What information do you need?”
Customer: “Just do it!”
Support: “I’m sorry; I need a little more context here. What are you calling about?”
Customer: “The email said to call you and make the information available so I am calling you!”
Support: “The information about what? What email are you referring to? What is the topic?”
Customer: “I have no idea. I was just following orders!” *hangs up

No Connection Between Email and Internet. None Whatsoever.


Image source: marco monetti

The customer is the CEO of a graphics design company that has hosted email with the company. He calls in late one night to report that he is unable to get any email, and that he has important business to attend to and must have his email. The company representative almost exhausted all troubleshooting with this customer. He verified settings on his email client, verified settings on their server and mail flow to his inbox. In a last resort, the customer support representative has the customer attempt to set up the email account again as a new account.

Customer: “It says it can’t connect to the server. Are you having server issues?”
Support: “No, sir. If we were, we’d have a lot more callers about this issue. Try [alternative incoming server address and port] and see if you get a different response.”
(Typing and a pause…)
Customer: “Nope, still says can’t connect to server.”
Support: “Hmm…” *thinking there’s no way this can be possible* “Are you having any Internet issues? Are you able to load any web pages?”
Customer: “No, our ISP is having an outage right now.”
Support: “… Well, there’s your problem. Unfortunately without Internet you won’t be able to get email.”
Customer: “Why? What does Internet have to do with email?”

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Customer Service Skills that Matter:


This is important not only to customers, who often reach out to support when they are confused and frustrated, but also to the business as a whole. Patience oftentimes makes customer services great and this beats fast services every single time.

The Ability to Really Listen

Listening to customers is crucial for providing great service for a number of reasons. Firstly, taking the time to listen to what customers have to say actually gives you a heads-up and helps you come up with the best solution. Secondly, most of the times, listening shows that you care for your customers and respect them. Therefore, listen! to all types of customer service queries.

Image source: Beverly & Pack

Clear Communication Skills

After listening to your customers, make sure that you communicate the right message and don’t go around the bush. That will only infuriate the clients. Refine the message as much as possible and communicate the essential elements. They don’t need to hear about how your day was!

A Deep Knowledge of the Product

This is a must! Without a thorough knowledge and understanding of the product, customer service representatives will inevitably be caught off guard at some point in time.

The Ability to Stay Positive

This refers to both the ability of using positive language as well as that of staying optimistic.   This plays a very important part in the success of your persuasion techniques. Also, remember that customers create perceptions about you and your company based on the language that you use whilst addressing them.

Acting skills

These are especially useful when confronted with situations outside of your control (the customer had a lousy day, or he just likes complaining a lot). These circumstances will inevitably come up into your usual support routine, and you’ll be dealing with those customers who seem to want nothing else but to pull you down. That’s where acting saves the day! Successful customer service representatives need to be able to maintain their usual cheery persona regardless of how grumpy the customer is. Acting skills reinforce customer service representatives’ ability to handle surprises.


The whole point is that customer service representatives are your company’s most important asset. Therefore, they should be multi-skilled and literally care about the company and the customers. In order for you to achieve this, start by putting employees first and invest time and resources into perfecting their skills and motivating them as much as possible so that they are able to tackle all types of customer service queries.

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